Tonight I wept. I wept for an hour about humanity. About where humanity has been. Where humanity is going. Humanity's brokenness. Self obsession. Greed. Pain. Oppression. What is this preoccupation with getting to the top and making sure all others remain stopped in the corners where we have placed them. Where we have placed them to fend for themselves in a world that dwells on status and power.

Tonight I wept. I wept for an hour about the church. About the church and it's good intentions. The church and it's flaws. The fans-- not followers. The Sunday morning Christians. The lack of service. The indifference. Why is this the case when the only thing the Bible requests is to brace against the oppression and make an impression of love in the world. To go out to those unlike ourselves and see no difference because we are all neighbors at the same table in God's house.

Tonight I wept. I wept for an hour and I went to sleep defeated. I went to sleep defeated because I can cry at the top of my lungs for humanity to see the brokenness but humanity will remain self obsessed. Greedy. Pained. Oppressive. 

Tonight I wept.

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Tonight, as a mixture of mascara and salty tears stained the shoulder of my mom's tshirt, I got my breath taken away as I was hit full force with just how dark and blinded the world is. I was hit with an overwhelming wave of hopelessness because I fear that no one will ever see how much brokenness our world has. And not just knowing it exists. No, having it break hearts and turn heads and cause action. But that's not going to happen (at least not soon) and that hit me hard. It was a sense of hopelessness like none I've ever felt before, so incredibly strong. Mixed with frustration and anger and pity and it was all pent up and just took over. It took over and broke my heart and my spirit as my mom held me as I wept. But two people standing in a room lamenting the brokenness of the world cannot change the world. Thus, tonight I wept and I sign off with a heavy heart.